My Writings

A Letter To My Sixteen Year Old Self .      Written by Janet Arthur


Dear sixteen year old self,

I am writing this letter with the hope of encouraging you without telling you what to do. You have your own life to live and only you can make the decisions on how to live.

I understand you may be confused about values and where people gain these.   You have, grown up in a home where rules set in place are done so by adults who don’t always follow these same rules. This is one of the many ways humans can and do let each other down, without really meaning too. The reason rules are set in place are because you are a child, and according to the law need protecting by those adults around you who are responsible for you.

You have had a difficult time and felt there was no one there for you during these times.  While  walking through these challenges you kept your feelings inside hoping to take away at least a little stress from close family members.

Through it all you still managed to keep actively caring for people .

Wanting to be understood on a very deep level by others will happen  when you truly know

 yourself  . When  living in your true essence the need for approval will disappear. When others deliberately hurt you don’t try and figure out why. It is important to know their actions or words can only hurt you if you believe  what they do or say .

I’d encourage you to look at life as a series of lessons helping us to grow our souls to meet the love which comes our way , in its many forms. Don’t look too hard outside yourself for love because the kind of love you attract is the mirror of what needs healing inside of you.  For example if you need to stand up for yourself you could be attracted to a person who has tendencies to bully.

Perceptions change as we change. If you face your challenges head on  you will grow through them quicker to find happiness .

You want to be loved by those closest to you but no person can provide all of what you think you may need . Many people look for what is undeveloped in themselves,  as if by associating with those who do, we will grasp those  qualities for ourselves.  The time is better spent growing our own qualities.

No matter how you feel about your parents forgive them , love them  because one day you will realise they do love you the only way they know how. The way life has taught them. You picked your parents and your experiences in order to understand and teach others   through learning and stories.

Take time to discover and spend time doing the things you love. No excuses.  Don’t put money, other people or expectations of others before your own life. We all have a certain amount of breaths to take us on our journey and one day they will run out. Use those breaths  wisely do not squander them on people who only take.

You will recognise those whose company you enjoy by the way you feel while, and after  you spend time with them. If you have shared a conversation and feel happy while, and energetic for some time after the conversation has ended you will understand, this is a person whose company is worth pursuing.

You will make mistakes. It’s how you deal with these mistakes which will determine how to cope with life. If you see them as an opportunity for learning , which sometimes takes you to a better result  than you could have imagined,   this will help you understand not to take your errors to heart. When we learn from our blunders it frees us up to grow into the person we are to become .When we keep repeating mistakes they will present  in a more difficult form each time.

Find your voice for when you do you will find yourself. Don’t be afraid to speak up to those who see themselves as more important than you. We all experience life from a different perspective  and every human is entitled to have their point of view heard  . I f you sing you will then recognise  the gift of music in your heart and will be able to relax  into yourself in a unique and wonderful way.

Buy a decent pair of walking shoes to help you through the challenges we, as human beings face in our lives. Why walking shoes?   At some point in your life you may find when facing  especially emotional challenges, the only action you can take, is to  put one foot in front of another to walk through  these personal trials.

Be open to others opinions and the wisdom life brings , clearly learning the insights which mean more, are those you discover  through living.

One of the most important things in life you will learn is to trust yourself , your gut instinct , your intuition. This is when you have a decision to make and your head may really want to go one way but something doesn’t feel right. You may even feel tense in some  part of our body  when thinking of one of the options, when making your choice, listen because your body knows the truth before you do.

Enjoy a good laugh every day it will take you far in your life.

You will discover your soul to have some of the  same qualities , from before the first day you started to become aware .  If you grasp all opportunities which come your way, your life will be very colourful and interesting.

 Well before your life’s end you will  stand and think,  “ Wow isn’t life marvellous?  Aren’t I lucky ?I didn’t plan it ! I would have  narrowed my life so much, and taken the richness out of it. Had I made all the choices I thought I wanted, rather than life through all its pain and joy, presenting me with what I needed.”


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